Think about the last time someone “popped into your life at just the right moment” and helped you solve a problem.  A mentor if you will; even if it was a mentor just for that moment and situation.  They gave you the advice, support and compassion you needed to get through a trying time.  But how did it happen?  This is part of the “mystery” of mentoring – people seem to meet the right people at the right moments, they didn’t plan on doing that, but it just happened and they had a great conversation.

How random was that conversation?

As random as it might seem, chances are it wasn’t so random.

You did something and said something that lead to that conversation.  You probably didn’t realize it and it happened unconsciously.  Let’s talk about it so next time you can create a mentoring opportunity intentionally…

First let’s look at…

IMPERFECTION

From early ages we hear things like “fake it till you make it”.  When we graduate high school and college we’re taught how to puff up our resumes, make it sound like we have more experience than we really do and in short – put out a public image that hides our flaws and looks perfect.

That’s BS.

If you present your life as perfect how can anyone help you?  You can’t improve on perfect.  SO…

Know what you aren’t good at.  Find out what you don’t know.  Discover your flaws.  This can be an easy journey to start – just think about the problems you’re facing, the pains you are having and the frustrations you’re currently feeling.  Write three of them down.  Now.  Really.

Once you acknowledge and embrace your imperfections you’ll need to show your…

VULNERABILITY

Once you know what you don’t know and what you need to learn you need to share.  This takes courage and an open mind.  We are taught NOT to be vulnerable and that will only get in your way if you want to grow, learn and succeed beyond what you’ve already experienced.

This doesn’t mean putting yourself down.  This means letting people know where you’re falling short and what you’d like to learn.  Vulnerability gives people the opportunity to help you.  Vulnerability lets people know you’re a real person with real problems.  Vulnerability lets people know they can relate to you and talk to you.

Those three things you just wrote down?  (If you didn’t take four minutes right now and do it…)

Now let’s open the door to possibility and opportunity by…

ASKING FOR HELP

There’s an old saying that “knowledge is power”.  This is mostly true BUT: Knowledge is only powerful when it’s applied in action – not theory.  Once you know you’re weaknesses it’s time to act.  Once you understand that vulnerability is a powerful tool it’s time to reach out.

How?

Ask for help and be specific.  Tell people the specific problem you’re facing and exactly what you need to know or who you need to meet.  Don’t just say:

“I want to start a business – will you help me?”

Help you what?  Raise money?  Set up a corporation?  Create a web site? And on and on…

Try something like:

“I want to start a business – but I don’t know how to market my management consulting services.  Can you share with me how you did that or introduce me to someone who can?”

In short: Help them help you.

STARTING TODAY…

Now you’re ready for action – after reading this you have the tools to get started and send an email, send a tweet or pick up the phone.

Who will YOU reach out to for help TODAY?